First-Place Winner, November 2003 April 2004
Screenplay Contest Teleplay/Short Series
Date-by-Number
Written by RANDI BARNES
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Logline
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When people are marked at birth with an identifying number, its easy to find a perfect match so why is it so hard for this one lonely guy to find his soul-mate?
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Synopsis |
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How can you tell if someone is right for you? What if there were a foolproof way of identifying your perfect match? In the world of this short film, there is: people are marked at birth with an identifying number and need only pair off with their predestined match when theyre feeling the need to settle down. Easy, isnt it? However, that match has yet to appear for our unfortunate 20-something protagonist and, as he searches all over for the one, he is forced to wonder if it isnt 5 that is the loneliest number after all.
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Script Follows
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FADE IN:
CLOSE ON two people making-out. Lips, tongues, hands, faces - everywhere, all over.
PULL BACK TO REVEAL:
INT. LIVING ROOM NIGHT
The guy, whom we will refer to as NUMBER FIVE, leans THE GIRL back into the couch.
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GIRL
(between kisses) |
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This... has been... avery good date so far.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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I think... we're... really...
(as she reaches for his fly)
... clicking!
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The girl unzips Five's fly. He kisses the length of her neck, down to her chest, undoing buttons as he goes. Suddenly, he stops, his face level with her breasts.
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GIRL |
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Number Five looks up at her, then back at her chest. Staring back at him, tattooed over her breast, is a small, black "14."
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NUMBER FIVE |
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GIRL |
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Yeah.
(coy)
Can I see yours?
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She reaches for his pants. He scrambles off of her.
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GIRL (cont'd) |
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NUMBER FIVE |
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(buttoning his pants)
We're not a match
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GIRL |
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NUMBER FIVE |
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He hastily puts on his shoes and fumbles with the laces.
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GIRL |
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(bewildered)
You're just going?
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But he is already at the door.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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| He leaves, closing the door behind him. The girl collapses back on to the couch with a SIGH.
INT. DINER DAY
Number Five sits across from his BUDDY.
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BUDDY |
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I don't know why you're so stressed out
about it.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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I'm going to be alone forever.
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A WAITRESS delivers their plates. The Buddy takes her in, then shoots a "She's something, isn't she?" look at Five.
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BUDDY |
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(to the waitress)
Thanks.
(reads her nametag)
Cindy. This looks perfect.
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WAITRESS |
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Five's Buddy checks her out as she walks off.
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BUDDY |
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NUMBER FIVE |
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I doubt that she's my number.
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BUDDY |
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NUMBER FIVE |
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BUDDY |
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Yeah, but, you know, she might not be
the one...
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The Buddy digs into his food.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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(stunned)
But you guys match.
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BUDDY |
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Yeah, but I don't know if she's the matching
match, you know?
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NUMBER FIVE |
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No. No, I don't know. Everyone's born with a number and all anybody wants is just to find someone with that same num--
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BUDDY |
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NUMBER FIVE |
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(continuing)
All anybody wants is just to find someone with that same number. That's how it works. And you're lucky enough to have found one--
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BUDDY |
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One? I've found like nine already.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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BUDDY |
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Yeah. You remember Sheri? And Kira?
Both my number.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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BUDDY |
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Yeah. And Kristen, and...
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NUMBER FIVE |
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BUDDY |
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...Sarah. Man, she was something.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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How do you get so many, and I haven't
found a single one?
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BUDDY |
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Maybe you're being too picky.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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That doesn't make any sense.
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BUDDY |
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Look - you should consider yourself lucky. Maybe there's only one girl out there for you. You won't have to choose.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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(yelling)
BUT I CAN'T FIND HER!
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The other patrons turn, prompted by the noise.
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NUMBER FIVE (cont'd) |
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(settling down)
Sorry.
(then)
I just want to find someone, alright?
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Buddy is at a loss. He can see his friend is suffering.
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BUDDY |
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(trying)
Alright, what's your number?
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NUMBER FIVE |
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What?
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BUDDY |
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Your number. Maybe I can help.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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(uncomfortable)
That's... private.
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BUDDY |
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So - we're friends. I could have seen it
in the locker room a bunch of times.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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Did you?
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BUDDY |
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No. But I could have. What are you?
A seven? Twenty-three?
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NUMBER FIVE |
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BUDDY |
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NUMBER FIVE |
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BUDDY |
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NUMBER FIVE |
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I'm a five. That's my number.
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BUDDY |
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NUMBER FIVE |
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BUDDY |
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Jesus, I've never met any fives before.
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Number Five slumps dejectedly in his seat. Buddy shrugs and downs a handful of french fries.
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BUDDY (cont'd) |
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CUT TO:
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| CLOSE ON A TIMER counting down from 05. 04. 03. 02. 01. It BEEPS repeatedly and we PULL BACK TO REVEAL:
INT. FIVES APARTMENT EVENING
Number Five takes a frozen dinner from the microwave.
INT. FIVES APARTMENT MINUTES LATER
Five sits at his computer, tapping at his keyboard while eating his dinner. On screen, pictures of women scroll by; he is browsing through the online personals. The phone RINGS, startling him.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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| INT. FIVES PARENTS PLACE SIMULTANEOUS
An elaborately made-up woman, FIVE'S MOTHER, is on the phone. Gold jewelry drips off her fingers and from around her neck. Everything, from her attire to her heavily decorated living room, suggests the nouveau-riche, grown-up Jewish-American Princess that she is.
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FIVES MOTHER |
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INT. FIVES APARTMENT SIMULTANEOUS
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NUMBER FIVE |
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INTERCUT between Number Five and his Mother.
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FIVE'S MOTHER |
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She glances down at her nails, inspecting them for breaks. In the B.G., FIVE'S FATHER is asleep in a La-Z-Boy, his head back, mouth open, and the remote control on one leg. He SNORES quietly.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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FIVE'S MOTHER |
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NUMBER FIVE |
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Five clicks away the online dating window.
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FIVE'S MOTHER |
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NUMBER FIVE |
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Mom, I talked to you three days ago.
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FIVE'S MOTHER |
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So? That's time, isn't it?
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NUMBER FIVE |
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No. I'm not seeing anyone.
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FIVE'S MOTHER |
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Good. Because your cousin's boss' mother I met her at that fundraiser--
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NUMBER FIVE |
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Mom, you're not setting me up.
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FIVE'S MOTHER |
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She knows a nice girl who lives out your way--
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NUMBER FIVE |
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FIVE'S MOTHER |
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What? "What are the chances" what?
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NUMBER FIVE |
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What are the chances that she and I have
the same number? A random set-up.
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FIVE'S MOTHER |
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Oh, honey. Maybe you're being too picky.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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How does that make sense?
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FIVE'S MOTHER |
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You young people are so consumed with finding the perfect match. "Who has my number? I want to find someone with my number." In my day, we were just looking for a suitable partner.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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FIVE'S MOTHER |
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No, not always. Your father and I don't
match.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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(horrified)
What? Mom!
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FIVE'S MOTHER |
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What? We're off by one. I thought you knew this. And we've made it work. We have a nice home, a wonderful son--
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NUMBER FIVE |
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Oh my God.
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FIVE'S MOTHER |
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And matching's no guarantee, anyway. I had a boyfriend once who was my number, before your father. We fought something awful. Sure, he was terrific in certain... areas... But you can't build a relationship on that.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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I'm not even listening anymore.
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FIVE'S MOTHER |
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Anyway, I e-mailed you her number. And some jokes your Aunt Rachel sent me. They're hysterical. Scroll down to the ones about the rabbis.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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FIVE'S MOTHER |
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Okay, sweetie. But do yourself a favor.
Call her.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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FIVE'S MOTHER |
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Call her!
(then)
Your father says hello.
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Five's Father emits a GRUNT from the La-Z-Boy.
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FIVE'S MOTHER (cont'd) |
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(air kisses)
Mwah.
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| She hangs up.
Number Five looks at a picture on his desk: his parents, boarding a cruise ship, waving from the gangplank in tropical print shirts, sun visors and leis. They are like bizarre aliens to him now - strangers who look eerily familiar.
INT. RESTAURANT NIGHT
Number Five is on a date with the aforementioned WOMAN. She is average in every way: nice enough, pretty enough, okay. She and Five are both nervous, searching for conversation.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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WOMAN |
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(at the same time)
Do you--
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They LAUGH awkwardly.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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WOMAN |
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NUMBER FIVE |
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I really -- I'm just looking for -- you know.
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WOMAN |
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They nod at each other. Awkward. Finally, the woman breaks.
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WOMAN |
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This is so hard, isn't it?
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NUMBER FIVE |
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(with relief)
Oh my God.
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WOMAN |
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I mean, your mother meets my mother's friend at an auction and so we go out to dinner? Dating is so crazy.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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No kidding. I don't understand it.
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WOMAN |
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(suddenly pensive)
Still, we're not getting any younger.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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Five stares down at his food. Suddenly, he gets an idea.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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The woman nearly chokes.
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WOMAN |
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NUMBER FIVE |
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C'mon. Let's just tell each other. Cut
through all this dating crap.
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WOMAN |
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That's a little... personal, don't you think?
(then)
What's yours?
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NUMBER FIVE |
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The woman makes sure nobody's listening. Then:
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WOMAN |
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| Five takes a moment for this to resonate. He sees:
An amorous couple holding hands over the table, gazing into each other's eyes.
A woman seductively shoveling spaghetti into her husband's mouth.
An old man, all alone, eating his meal. Suddenly, the old man breaks down SOBBING.
Five turns back to the woman.
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NUMBER FIVE |
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WOMAN |
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NUMBER FIVE |
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They look at each other - the woman is in awe. Five just smiles back at her, shrugs a little. She can't help but smile, even laugh, and shakes her head with disbelief as she returns her attention to her dinner.
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WOMAN |
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Wow. Another twenty-five.
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They both continue eating. There's nothing more to say.
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(CONTINUED)
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